Please Mind the Gap
In honor of self-care month, we reached out to several Valeo care providers to ask for their advice and experiences about self-care, particularly while serving in a cross-cultural context. Today’s post is written by Amber, one of our counselors:
“Please mind the gap!”
This peculiar phrase (to my American ears) is forever with me after living and serving in Hong Kong. It's the phrase that is announced in multiple languages at the start and end of every train trip on Hong Kong’s Mass Transit Railway (MTR). “Please mind the gap!” It echoes through train cars and stations literally millions of times a day. "Please mind the gap!” It’s an announcement that declares the seemingly obvious (notice the gap between the platform and the train) with the implication: don’t trip! Hong Kong is not alone in its concern for travelers. Wikipedia has an entire page devoted to “Mind the gap,” listing all the cities and countries which have their own version!
When I was asked to reflect on self-care for living overseas, this seemingly unrelated phrase is what came to mind: “Please mind the gap!” For me, the beginning of self-care while living overseas was to regularly notice the “gap.” or more realistically, the gaps; to honestly name the myriad ways in which my familiar ways of being and doing at home could no longer be the default, and to notice that the ways of being and doing in our overseas contexts were often very different. Living in Hong Kong, it was the pace of life, the modes of transportation, the noise levels, the housing square footage, the language and communication styles, the social norms … I could go on and on.
“Please mind the gap!” The implication here is that after you notice the gap, you need to DO something, to ensure that you don’t stumble or fall. As it relates to self-care, it’s not enough just to notice the cultural gaps; the implication is that some type of intentional effort must be made to bridge them. As a dear friend shared with me this week, reflecting on her own self-care while serving in Vietnam: self care is “NON-NEGOTIABLE, ESSENTIAL.” Effort must be made. For me, self-care while living in Hong Kong included near-daily time in nature (taking advantage of Hong Kong’s hiking trails and country parks) and regular time with life-giving relationships. It also involved mindful differentiation between my personal spiritual life and the spiritual practices that were connected to ministry life.
Reflections from other friends and clients serving overseas:
Regular trips out of the city or country of service.
Following “Grandma’s rules” (a quote from Dr. Jim Coffield, pastor and professor of counseling): eating a balanced diet; exercise/movement, including getting heart rate up; rest and adequate sleep.
Be mindful of elements from home (foods, holiday celebrations or decorations, etc), so that you maintain traditions from your home culture; this is perhaps especially important for third culture kids.
Regular activities and relationships that support laughter, creativity and play.
Visits from family members and good friends (notably disrupted by COVID).
What are the gaps for you, living and serving overseas? What do you need to do to “mind the gap”? Start having fun conversations with family members, team members, or even local friends to see what might be helpful and life-giving for you. We don’t want you getting tripped up, so please mind the gap!
If you or a global worker you know is struggling with this or other issues that you’d like to talk through with a Valeo care provider, why not Start Now?
Amber, LCMHC-A, the author of this article, is a counselor with Valeo.
