A Man Sized Bandaid for a God Shaped Hole
Phil can hardly wait for it. It's been a hard day of surgery at the rural relief hospital in South America. One case is weighing heavy on his heart. A young mom was rushed in for an emergency C-section. He hoped to at least save the baby, but despite all of his efforts, both died on his table. Tomorrow, he has a scheduled tumor extraction that doesn't look very promising. It feels like he keeps fighting and losing the same battles over and over. All he wants is to go home and forget the day. He wishes that he was able to talk about it with his wife and kids, but they rarely travel with him to the remote villages. Once inside the apartment, he goes straight to the cabinet and pulls the cork off the liquor bottle, taking a satisfying mouthful. The liquid burns on the way down, and he winces as he feels his head swim. Phil knows this isn’t the best way to go about resting from his day, but it's the only way he has. If he doesn’t, he knows he would hurt. Phil has gotten really skilled at hiding it, or at least he hopes so. He started with a couple of glasses of wine per day, but now going just hours without taking a drink brings painful consequences. Phil desires to escape both from the pain of the day, and the dependence his body has on the liquid in the bottle his hand is wrapped around, but what is the alternative? What can fill that void? Phil has prayed and struggled to quit, but the immediate relief is so satisfying.
Phil is addicted to alcohol. Addiction is the physiological and psychological need for and compulsive use of a habit-forming substance. Phil is dependent on alcohol due to his biological need for the substance, resulting in control over his body by that substance. Compounding the problem, Phil has developed a tolerance for alcohol and requires a more potent version to achieve, or maintain, the desired effect. Traumatic experiences in Phil’s life, brought on by being a field doctor, have resulted in deep emotional wounds and difficult emotions like sadness and anger. Due to Phil’s high-stress environment, occupation, and lack of solid external support, Phil is finding relief in something that seems to serve him well in the moment but has lasting negative consequences on his heart, body, and mind. Substances often seem to be the best or quickest answer for emotional hurts, but we soon find it only serves as a bandaid for a deeper, more severe wound. It is a man-sized solution for a “God-sized problem”. If not treated soon, Phil will reach a point of burnout, possibly career-ending consequences, and potentially even death.
What can Phil do? One of the best ways Phil can struggle well with addiction is to be connected with a solid community. One that will love him and see deeper than the actions he is taking to cover his emotions and hurts. The best first step would be letting his family know of his struggles and pain, but Phil feels ashamed of his dependence on alcohol. Often the individual addicted to substances can’t see past their shame to the love that others have for them. It will take the patience of his family to serve, reach, and love him best.
As Phil sits for a moment, he notices a picture of his wife and kids on his laptop open in front of him. Overcome with emotion, he cries and thinks, “What do I do? I know I need to tell them, but I don’t want to.” He doesn’t fully know what he is doing but opens up his email to begin crafting a semblance of a confession to his wife. As he stares at his email, mustering the courage to begin, he receives an email from Brigada with Valeo mentioned at the top promoting tele-mental health counseling for global workers. A spark of hope ignites in Phil. “Maybe someone can help me walk through this?”
Is there hope for Phil? Of course! Maybe you’re a global worker who has used substances as a coping mechanism and can relate closely to Phil. Maybe you have someone close using substances compulsively or are substance dependent. Maybe you’re asking yourself the question, “What do I do?” Valeo is available to help you answer that question! You can Start Now.
